Americans eat 500 million pounds of peanut butter a year, enough to coat the floor, of the Grand Canyon.

So who’s kidding who? Maurice and Rifka are a lovely elderly couple, both in their eighties. One day, Rifka says to Maurice, “Do you know what I’d like right now - an ice cream.” “Then I’ll go get you one,” says Maurice. “That’s sweet of you, dear,” says Rifka. “Go get a piece of paper so you can write down what I want. You know how bad your memory is these days.” “Don’t you worry,” says Maurice, “I won’t forget – just tell me what you want.” “I’d rather you wrote it down,” says Rifka. “Please don’t argue,” says Maurice, “what do you want?” “I want a cornet with one scoop of raspberry ice cream. Please write it down.” “I don’t need to. Do you want anything else?” says Maurice. “Yes, I’ll also have a scoop of chocolate ice cream,” replies Rifka. “Anything else?” says Maurice. “Yes, I’ll have some butterscotch sauce on top of the ice cream. But are you sure you won’t write it down?” says Rifka. “I don’t need to, honest. Now do you want anything else?” says Maurice. “Well now you ask,” says Rifka, “I’d like a sprinkling of nuts over the sauce and to finish it off, a glace cherry on top. But will you remember all of that?” “Yes, dear, stop nagging,” says Maurice and leaves to get the order. 50 minutes later Maurice comes back with a parcel. He goes straight to Rifka and proudly announces, “Darling, here’s the fried fish you asked for!” Rifka looks in the parcel, then at him and says, “I knew you would forget something. So where are the chips?